Saturday Weepies

Today has been a little bit better. Ledcat and I have not weathered the storm well, having had a lot more arguments. I guess grief can create some pretty big chasms. We are trying not to take it out on each other, but being snide is just second nature to my pain and anger. Sigh.

The boys are still lost at sea. Every time he comes in from the backyard, Xander runs frantically through the house looking for ... I can only presume, his sister. Deus doesn't seem as worried and just sits to wait for the petting to commence. Having dashed, Xander comes to find me and just seems puzzled. I walk him over to smell her collar, but I'm not sure he understands anything about this at all.

Today, Ledcat and I took a drive down to Hancock County, West Virginia to visit two sister dogs, Marta and Natasha. I found Natasha on petfinder.com and after calling, learned she had a sister from whom she is inseparable. Ledcat doesn't want two new dogs. She went along for the ride, we argued and then arrived to discover that they had sent the girls out to the local home expo for the day. So we sat for another 30 minutes. I was covered in mud from visiting all the other puppies. Then they arrived. Natasha looks like a taller, leaner Mona. Marta is all Mona personality ... like a mini-husky who loves belly rubs and makes grunty sounds. They are really sweet girls. Very gentle, no jumping. Very bonded (kept looking over shoulders to eyeball the other). They need some obedience training, but it wouldn't be hard.

Could they adapt to the boys? Why do I want another dog so quickly? Are these the right dogs for us? I don't know.

I was relieved to learn they won't be put to sleep anytime soon. Also, that, sadly, the kennel is the nicest home they've ever had -- they were found battered and abused about 6 months old and weren't expected to live.

I'm very tired so I can't make sense of this right now. We've agreed to table the conversation. And we had a lengthy chat about Mona tonight without crying. Our vet sent us this wonderful card that everyone wrote in which made me so happy. My friend's 4 year old daughter signed her family names in a condolence card send to Mona. That definitely brought a lump to my throat. Then tonight a friend called to leave a message on my voicemail because our neighborhood barista told her! How is that for community!

The hardest part of any day is walking through the front door to ... nothing. Sometimes Simon is downstairs, but he now tends to remain upstairs with his siblings. He used to share the couch with Mona (and the window perch).

I think we have a chance to give two lost little girls a new home. If not them, I suppose there will always be another dog that need a home.

Good night.