CELEBRATE

Mona gained almost 4 lbs in two weeks! Yahoo. She had dropped half a pound prior to that, so I've been feeding her a lot of good stuff to keep her appetite stimulated (and keep her busy during the day).

I was so happy. I've been down and out the past few days. Deus was sick on Weds, Mona got sick early this morning. Nothing like dog vomit in the bedroom to start your days off right. Then I got the call from the vet that the chemo doctor was there and I needed to get there ASAP. Thankfully, to day I felt well enough to shower and put on fresh clothing. I gave Mona a treat to keep her busy and she promptly dropped it into the little space between the seat and the door. Then, she whined piteously for me to stop and retrieve it for her. Ha.

So the good news about her weight and the vet's pronouncement that she's in full remission makes me very happy. My retrieval of her bone made Miss Mona very happy. She'll probably spend the rest of the day asleep which is okay with me.

Ledcat told me this morning that it bothers her when I make droll comments about Mona's impending death. I don't want to upset her so I'll try to stop. But sometimes dark humor helps me cope. Last night, I was dragging her away from the cat food and said "You are dying and cat food won't help." Ledcat thought that was unnecessary. I can see her point of view, but it feels less horrid if I can make some jokes about it. Mind you, I'm doing everything possible to keep her alive -- chemo, lots of veggies and wholesome foods, lots of love and a real belief that she is going to battle this thing right to the end.

But there will be an end. And from all accounts, it won't be pretty or quiet or peaceful. She'll go downhill and I'll have to know when her quality of life is impaired beyond what's fair or decent. There's no objective measure to that and it scares me so.

It scares me, so ...

Tomorrow

Well, I'm annoyed. I think Mona has another chemo treatment tomorrow, but my vet didn't give me a reminder call so I'm not 100% sure. I am irrationally angry about this. I've been home sick for two days and don't feel any better. I know my Mona sadness is part of the problem. I cooked her chicken for dinner tonight. She spent most of the day on the sofa with me. I hope she enjoyed it.

It is hard to walk through a loss with someone else. My way of coping isn't the same as Ledcat's way of coping. I want to talk forward and she most decidedly does not.

I couldn't get through this without her.

I'm sick of it all ...

Sunday evening, Ledcat and I went to see The Savages, one of those sad and uplifting movies about coping with aging parents. I was fine until the very last scene involving a dog (a good scene, don't worry) when I broke into a frenzy of sobs. This character saved the dog and I just wanted to cry because I'm not sure I can do the same thing for my Mona.

Today, Simon went to the vet for what appears to be allergies. I'm so sick of the vet. I'm sick of the drive and the tedious traffic and the poor line of site to make a left turn from the parking lot. I'm sick of waiting. I'm sick of obsessing over every single bite she eats and worrying about any abnormal sound she makes.

My freezer is filled with green veggies, my 'crisper' is packed with lunch meat and carrots, apples are rolling around the counter. I chop and measure and stir. I caress and stroke and comfort. Then I see another dog survive disease - in a movie- and I fall apart.

I feel so guilty for being miserable. She's happy and playful and hungry. She can jump on the bed and take the tennis ball off her brothers. She has a good quality of life. So why do I feel so angry?

This is our by week

Mona gets a week to rest. No chemo for her until next Friday. She celebrated by chewing a hole in the blanket she sleeps on and eating 100% of the treats I left to keep her fattened up. She hasn't polished off her treats in days.

Her eating patterns have turned a bit to grazing. She ate about 1/2 of her supper (dog food and green beans), but she's back out there now chowing down on dog food about 4 hours later. I was never big on free feeding b/c of housebreaking, but I'm totally into it with her. If she eats, I'm happy.

Her disposition has been good. She's playful and energetic. Ledcat says she woke her up when she walked in the door. She gives you this sleepy eyed look as if she doesn't know who you are. Meanwhile, her tail is beating a million times a minute. Some watch dog. Thank god for her brother and the ever vigilant kitties.

I'm going to continue trying to pack on the pounds in a healthy way for Miss Mona. Gonna grill up some chicken to stuff in her kong now that the turkey is gone. She loves chicken.

Speaking of Kongs, my friend is putting in another round of orders and I'm debating what to get. Ledcat thinks we have enough of "those gross things" as she puts it. I like sales. And they do get kind of stretched out with giant monster dogs sucking on them. Nothing in this world is as disgusting as a 125 lb dog nursing a XXL Kong like a pacifier. Ick.

We plan to hang out a bit this weekend so Miss Mona should get plenty of TLC. I even bought her a new fleece blanket at Penneys tonight.

Another Dog Poop Post

Mona's poop has turned green.

Dog owners spend a lot of time talking about poop. The woofers can't tell us what's going on so we have to look for cues and poop is a great source of information. I always look at it and compare it and monitor it.

So it was green today. Well, more "greenish" than actual green. I'm not sure what that means. Too much on the green veggies?

Mona ate a decent breakfast this morning even though she really does prefer green veggies to the yogurt/canned dog food mixture. She had a Kong with cream cheese, turkey, a teaspoon of wet cat food and a carrot. She also had a prepackaged gnawing bone as a treat. Both were consumed during the day. I got home a bit early and she was anxious for her dinner (dog food with brocolli). They ate all three bowls in about 7 minutes around 5:00 PM. I watched her eat so I know she got a full serving, but she was whining a few minutes ago and licking the bowl. So I put out some more dry food and she crunched a few mouthfuls.

Her behavior is very typical .. playful, watchful. For the first time in weeks, she's gone into her little corner to curl up in a ball. She loves snow, but only in the daylight.

Essentially, another uneventful day filled with precious moments I want to keep close to my heart forever. Mona rolling on her back for stomach rubs. Mona curling up with her head on my leg. Mona nipping at her brothers in the backyard. Mona skittering around after me as I change the laundry.

How do you drink in enough of those moments to sustain you through the bad times? It dawns on me today that I'm plowing so much energy into Mona that I'm sacrificing time with the other critters. That's not a satisfactory trade off.

Ruminating ...

Pack On the Pounds

Mona went in for another round of chemo on Friday. I had to drop her off while I was at work so I sent her with a Kong to keep her busy. Everything went fine. The vet didn't admit it, but I discovered she had barked the entire day -- she was completely hoarse. Her bloodwork is good so far.

However, she did lost a half a pound. So I've ramped up her food intake .... tons of green veggies and two Kongs every time we leave the house. She's being finicky about the Kongs. I usually stuff them with her chicken strips, a few biscuits and some cream cheese. Now I mix a teaspoon of wet catfood into the cream cheese, just to get her going. Today, she got a few carrots and a piece of turkey lunch meat. She had green beans for breakfast. Dinner featured lima beans and green beans. She inhaled them. She loves green veggies more than the canned dog food. I am not exaggerating.

I also bought some store treats for her to have at the vet this coming Friday. I figure the tradeoff of her making herself hoarse is not acceptable, especially if she isn't going to take an interest in the Kong.

Her weekend was better than last. She was energetic and playful. She got a few car rides -- she rolled with me to help Ledcat drop off her car at the shop and then again Saturday night when we had to go back to the Southside to pick up Ledcat's glasses. She was tussling with her brothers and completely underfood during Xmas Tree Take Down 2008. It was great.

Today, she's been perky. We had chicken for dinner so she was very attentive to that. I diced up the last few bites and mixed in with her remaining dry food to get her to eat. Sometimes I feel bad when she doesn't polish off the same dinner as her siblings, then I remember that they weight three times as much as she does.

Our freezer is packed to the gills with bags of frozen green veggies. I meant to get some spinach to try. The lima beans were like candy. Deus and Xander were scooting all over the floor to scarf up the few that I dropped.

I have a lot invested in the veggies. Not money, but hope. I tell myself that if I can keep her eating well, we are winning. Those green guys are warriors in our cancer battle. I've got my mind set on her making up that lost half pound this week. The good thing is that she is eating and she hasn't had any problems with diarrhea or vomiting at all.

And it gives me something immediate that I can focus on --- a sense of control. I'll spend half an hour preparing her dinner if I get the payoff of her eating 3/4 of it. I can't see the chemo working and it scares me anyway to think of her poor body struggling with it. I can see the impact of the veggies - her allergies aren't as severe, her poop is ... interesting. :-)

Today, I was thrilled to come home and discover that she had burst through the babygate, broke into the cat litter box and left me a big steaming pile of poop on the attic floor, a pile that Ledcat left for me. Ha. I was happy to clean it up b/c that's Mona behavior we haven't seen in a few weeks.

In other pet news, the boys have been doing good. They both seem to have this allergy thing going on -- some coughing and wheezing. I dosed 'em with Benadryl and its better. They, too, love the green veggies. Deus has two more weeks of post-operative recovery until he can begin exercising again so the extra bulk in his diet is good. Kitties are good. Simon needs a nail trim (ouch). He tried to eat a lima bean tonight, but Mona took it from him.

So that's it for tonight.

Squeaky Girl

Mona is laying on our new entryway throw rug squeaking her new tennis ball. She ate a good breakfast and dinner. Had some carrots in her Kong. She did manage to poop over 5 separate puppy pads without overflowing onto the bathroom floor. I'm both impressed and appreciative.

Her energy level is good, but she has been a bit whiny. I don't see any source of discomfort so I hope there's nothing internal going on. She goes in for her third chemotherapy treatment tomorrow. I have to drop her off in the AM. I hate leaving her there all day, but the upside is that she'll have puh-lenty of human company. I'm sending her with a doggie bag. :-)

The rest of the crew is doing well. The boys apparently have allergies. I hope it isn't a cat allergy cause that kind of irony we don't need. :-)

Gravy with those beans ...

I'm home sick today. I was up all night just not feeling well. I slept in until 10 AM and am trying to rouse myself.

Mona has been a picky eater today. I fed her this morning, but she refused to eat until I put a bit of gravy in with her beans and dogfood. Personally, I think it is the weather. I think the dog's know that something is amiss. They like being outside, but there's an air of uncertainty about them. They know they should be playing in snow and relaxing by the fire. Not sleeping on tile floors to keep cool and comfortable.

All three dogs have been doing this hacking thing that sounds like a cross between clearing their throats and hacking up a hairball. Indigestion? Lack of vacuuming? Too many green beans?

I think it is time for a Kong ...

Mona French Kisses the Plumber

He didn't seem to mind. At $169.0, he damn well better not mind if she cops a feel, too.

We had some junk in our pipes and its all gone now. The plumber told me that today is his cat's birthday. He also let Mona sniff his hat and his paperwork. Plus, he dragged the giant snake thing through our underground passageway so I wouldn't have to dismantle the dog-gate. He won my heart. As much as a plumber can.

Mona is pretty much her usual self today. Sniffy, hungry and looking for love. I worked from home this afternoon (see plumber) so she joined me on the sofa and kept an eye on my paperwork when I got up for a fresh drink or a stretch. I was very impressed that she resisted the temptation to sit on it (or roll on it). She ate a moderate breakfast, inhaled her Kong and ate most of her dinner (spaghetti sauce helped tempt her).

The warm weather throws them for a loop. They are all sleeping on the bare floor instead of their beds. Mona kept trying to strip the covers entirely off the bed last night, regardless of how the rest of the bed occupants felt about it. There's nothing like paws raking your covers away at 3 AM to start your morning.

She must know I'm blogging about her. She just came over to the sofa, ejected the cat and assumed her spot in between Ledcat and me.

She better keep that tongue to herself.

Sunday

Last night, Mona was a bit worn down. She vomited around 4 PM (on the freshly laundered dog bed) and pretty much spent the remainder of the evening on the sofa, snuggled into her blankets. She ate some dinner and didn't get ill again. She was very interested in the chips and dip we enjoyed during the game, but we didn't succumb to her charms.

She slept most of the night on our bed, but I found her curled in the dog bed early this morning.
We have bolstered every dog friendly nook and cranny with extra blankets. I can tell she doesn't feel good when she lets me cover her with a blanket ... she typically prefers to snuggle on them, not under them. She was shivering a bit so I took a shot and she eventually stopped shivering.

She was responsive to go out to potty and spent her usual amount of time sniffing around the yard (we have some stray kitties that take a shortcut out there).

Her overall food intake on Saturday wasn't great. She did eat breakfast, but only half of her kong snack and less than half of her dinner. I gave her some chicken strips later in the evening and she ate those enthusiastically. This morning (Sunday), she again turned her nose up at breakfast and only picked. She's a bit more lively this morning, so I hope she's turning the corner. I did speak with her vet yesterday and he told me to give her until Tuesday to perk up.

Our neighbor must have gone out (or not come home) because his poor dog wailed the entire evening. We sleep through it, but it keeps our woofers a bit restless. Poor girl ... she's just lonely. Our crew occasionally give out some empathetic keens.

We are planning to go to Target today. I feel kind of guilty about going somewhere I cannot take her. She enjoys a car ride, but makes me crazy with her racing around from window to window. I spend the entire time "Mona, lay down." "Yesssss." Four minutes later, "Mona, lay down." "Yesssss." And so forth. The only way to keep her settled is to give her a treat to distract her.

Once upon a time, we tried a dog seat belt. She was very subdued and we foolishly assumed it was doing the job. Until we got about halfway there (Hartwood Acres for a concert) and Laura caught of glimpse of Mona practically strangling herself to chew it apart. She pulled over and I jumped out to free her. She had crewed the dog seat belt, the actual seat belt and most of her harness. The rest of the trip? "Mona, honey, lay down." "Yesss."

Mona is terrible at concerts. She's great with the kids, the other dogs and the music. She just wants to be petted the entire time. We bought some low slung chairs and toss down a blanker for her, along with a Kong. After she finishes eating, she begins to bark until someone pets her. The trouble is that our chairs are just a bit too high to pet her without leaning over. So by the end of the concert, we are in discomfort from leaning over for an hour or from sitting on the ground to keep her quiet. Kind of defeats the purpose of a relaxing Sunday evening in the park.

Ah, that Miss Mona.

Saturday. In the House. I wish it was the 4th of July.

Mona didn't necessarily have a bad reaction to the 2nd chemo treatment, but she is a bit more subdued today than usual. She ate less than 1/2 of her breakfast, but went back to pick at it later. She polished off her chicken/Evo treat/cream cheese Kong, but turned her nose up at extra cream cheese. Mostly, she laid on the sofa wrapped up in "her" fleece throw and snoozed.

She was very perky when our new handyman arrived to repair the fence. She was equally responsive when we returned from a quick trip to the library and grocery store. Hint: avoid the Brighton Heights Giant Eagle at all costs ... it was as if someone smashed yinzerfest into geezerfest with the requisite amount of poor driving (both carts and cars). Shudder.

She'll be thrilled that we are staying home to watch the game and enjoy some homecooking tonight. Ledcat cracked open the chicken cookbook which bodes well for dogs on a heavy meat diet. And the kitties that love them. Sort of.

The boys are having a good day. They helped me clean the yard. Xander and I played fetch. Deus laid on the deck and supervised. Xander rejected his apple slices, but Deus ate them up. Both were very intrigued when Ken the handyman made an appearance and were prompt to inspect his work upon completion. Ken hurled himself against the fence a few times to prove to me that it would withstand the impact of a 120 lb dog at a full run. I believe him. Ouch.

Boris went to the vet. He is in good health and actually gained weight.

For a rainy playoff Saturday, that's the report. I'm going to go down, crack open the latest Mystery of Ancient Ireland and invite various pets to drape themselves about me.

Asparaginase or Round Two

This morning, I jumped in the car with my moms
and drove off for what was surely to be a fun adventure. Mom's car was at the shop b/c someone ran into her so I got to ride in a rental which was filled with cool smells and scents.

I recognized the place when we arrived, but I really had to pee so I ran off in the other direction before we went inside. Some of my favorite ladies were there to lavish me with attention UNTIL someone brought in a P-U-P-P-Y. Ick. Ick. Ick. It kept licking me and covering me in baby dog drool. Gross. Apparently, this little thing was also there for chemotherapy which makes me a little sad. He may be annoying, but he's kinda young to go through this.

The picture is me sitting in my favorite chair inside the exam room. The floor was still a little damp from the last visitor so I made one of my Moms stand. I hate wet paws. Eventually, Dr. Rogers came in and gave me the pettings I so deserve. He felt my neck and confirmed that those nasty little nodes were gone. I am a very strong dog because the nodes shrank in less than 24 hours AND I have no side effects. Take that, cancer.

I hate puking. Not only does it feel gross, but those stupid brothers of mine try to eat it before I'm done. It is bad enough they try to pee on me in the backyard. Can't a girl get a little privacy around here? Sheesh, I told my Mom they were a bad idea, but she insisted on letting them live with us. Stupid boys.

Anyway, Doc took me back for another injection of Asparaginase. I'm not fond of needles, but he smelled nice so I acquiesced with no complaint. I like men who smell nice, especially when they pet me in a Mona-approved manner. In a matter of minutes, I was outside in the waiting room with my mothers. First, I stopped off at the reception area b/c the little stinker was still in the back (he has bad veins) and allowed the ladies to adore me. Then, after a quick pee in the parking lot, we headed for home.

We did make a quick stop at Healthy Pet Products to pick up some dog food and a new chew toy for me. I let Xander have it when we got home. I'm a little tired from all this hullabaloo so I'm gonna go take a nap on the sofa. The Moms bought some new fleece throws just to make a comfy nest for me.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

She never met a rug she didn't like ....

Mona's secret is that she cannot be left home alone with rugs lest she pee on them. Throw rugs, bathroom rugs, wall to wall carpeting ... she pees on it all. She has clammered into the bathtub to pee on the bathmat (which actually is really easy to clean up).

She's certainly able to hold herself and will inform us if she needs to visit the outdoors. In rainy weather, she will go up to 12 hours before setting foot outside to pee. There's no particular routine to her rug peeing ways. She'll go for days without an 'accident' and then bam!

So we use puppy pads in the bathroom which works our fine most of the time. Well, there is the small problem of our cat Simon trying to 'cover up' Mona's dirty deeds and creating quite a mess with what he must think is very large cat litter. And Mona does have the uncanny ability to find the one small space where the pads don't overlap. Plus, there are those days when Ledcat or I come racing into the house to use the loo and have to hopskotch our way through the bathroom (especially fun in slippers and/or stocking feet).

We are having the remaing carpeting in the house torn out in the next few weeks and replaced with hardwood floors. There will be a carpet runner on the steps, but that should be relatively safe. She's never touched the entry way mats/rugs (we try to say mats around her).

What does this have to do with cancer? Well, I admit that sometimes I get angry when I have a particularly unpleasant mess to clean up or discover that Simon "The Humper" LeBon has dragged my favorite blanket across Mona's latest conquest. I'm a yeller and when I yell, Mona and her brothers run to hide. Then I calm down and they come back out. We all have a treat and move on with the day. Ledcat thinks we should stop yelling because Mona has cancer. I'm more of a 'lets treat her naturly" mentality.

Honestly, I can't keep this mantra of "Mona has cancer" going in my head at all times. I get annoyed when she does stupid shit and I am displeased when she disobeys. I'm not saying I don't want to apprecite her, but sometimes I enjoy that an entire hour goes by without my thinking about the fact that she's dying even if that hour includes the theft of a cookie, tin of cat food or wet paw prints on the sofa. The normalcy is a blessing itself.

Mona is a willful creature. Our dog trainer, Debby from Pawsitive Reactions, sized her up and the informed Ledcat and me that neither of us had what it takes to break her bad habits. Essentially, we failed obedience school on the very first day. It probably had something to do with Mona's perch on the couch and theft of the training treats while we were working with her siblings. Go figure.

When you instruct her to take action with which she disagrees, she gets a far off look in her eye and affixes herself like a giant adhesive onto whatever surface is handy. That could be the couch from which she is supposed to remove herself to the floor under the kitchen table from whence she should trot out into the wet/cold night for a potty break. Sometimes in a strange bout of crazy, her eyes roll up into her head and she looks at me over her shoulder like I am about to rip her unborn fetus out of her. I tend to wait until the "Marlena is possessed" stuff is over until I address the situation.

When she pees in the house, rug or puppy pad, she sits on the sofa and observes us as we "find" it. Then, even if we say nothing, she runs under the kitchen table. Those are her two favorite vantages from which to observe our wacky behavior, I guess.

Hurrah for no rungs!

Siblings and guilt

From the moment I knew something was wrong, I have wanted to hold Mona in my arms every possible moment to comfort her and me, too. The trouble is that Mona has multiple siblings, most of whom also want their own share of laptime and attention. Juggling all that love is a bit overwhelming.

Today, we cleaned. Xander aka "The Shadow" has been in the attic with me 90% of the day. While typically clingy, he has reached some new heights of annoying me over the past few weeks -- I turn around and bam! he's right there. The rational part of me knows that I have worked a kajillion hours of OT since Thanksgiving and that Xander is well aware that something isn't right with his brother and sister. Amadeus, I may have mentioned, had arthroscopic shoulder surgery two weeks ago. All of this amounts of even more confusion, nerves and clinginess on his part as he tries to sort out what's going on. *He* needs us just as much as Mona or Deus.

I know that in my head, but my feet are frustrated when I keep tripping over him.

The same holds true for the cats. If either of us sits on the couch for more than 3 minutes, there's typically a 16lb black furry thing on your lap. Stay there for five minutes and Mona crawls up, too. Another moment of two, the black furry things siblings are there and Xander is laying under your feet. Then we endure countless rounds of one cat on, two cats off; one dog on, one cat off as the pets shift positions on what is in fact a rather small sofa.

Thankfully, Deus prefers his dog bed and only joins the fracas if he senses food is being exchanged (willingly or not).

Xander suffers there, too. Deus is on highly restricted activity because of his shoulder -- he can go out to pee and that's pretty much it. No walks, no roughhousing, no playing, nothing. He feels good, but we've got another four weeks of restrictions to enforce. So Xander is tossed into the backyard on his own. He'll be ecstatic to play only with me for a few moments, but soon starts looking around and eventually drops the ball. Essentially, he'd rather be inside with his brother even if it is kind of boring.

Mona always prefers to be where the people are so winter restrictions are nothing for her. She goes out a few times to sniff the yard and catch up on the news, but that's about it. However, she has been known to antagonize her brothers into playing chase so she also can't be left unattended with Deus.

You just do the best you can. I pet everyone throughout the day. I try not to feel guilty when I clear all critters from the sofa and actually have room to move. I provide lots of blankets and comforters.

And I kind of look forward to getting back to our usual routine. I think everyone is happier.

Diets

When Mona was diagnosed, she had dropped nearly 5 pounds in a few months which equated to more than 10% of her bodyweight. I did some research and ascertained that a diet high in protein and low in carbohydrates was a good idea. Apparently, as they say, carbs feed the cancer.

She and her brothers were already enjoying a higher end food because of Amadeus' ear gunk issues. They were eating an oatmeal infused kibble made by Bil-Jac with an occasional can of food. I was big on using Kongs with delicious stuffings, typically involving peanut butter and real dog treats.

So I switched her to Evo which is a completely grain free diet. I almost fainted when I realized it is the most expensive dog food on the market. Then I nearly fainted again when I realized I was going to have to switch all three dogs or lose what was left of my sanity at meal times. Deus and Xander have this whole bowl switching/growl like dinosaurs ritual that would scare anyone unfamiliar with our feeding patterns.

The transition was smooth -- what dog wouldn't love food chock full of the meatiest meat morsels available? And it worked ... Mona regained the five pounds and a few more. Her vet commented that she had never had a dog add weight during chemotherapy.

She has kept that weight on even with the relapse. She continues to eat her Evo, but talked me into heating the canned food in the microwave b/c she doesn't like the chill from the fridge (I use half a can at a meal divided between the three dogs). Yes, I am the dog owner who heats food up in the microwave. For her dog. I use Ledcat's cereal bowls, but let's keep that between us.

Mona also has had a switch in her Kong stuffings from peanut butter to lowfat cream cheese. I add a few Evo grain-free biscuits and one Plato organic chicken strip. Mona enjoys the cream cheese, the chicken, and the occasional carrot or apple chunk. She does not like the biscuits too much and has made several furtive raids on the tin holding the carb laden MilkBones leftover from her previous life. She occasionally makes a snack of the dry cat food when the cats aren't at the bowl to defend their morsels.

The final change has been the addition of green veggies to her meals. I primarily use green beans. Heated in the microwave of course. I also use green peas. Deus and Xander get a lot more carrots and apples than Mona. They are both under doctor's orders to drop some weight which is a special challenge for Deus who is recuperating from shoulder surgery and is very restricted activity wise. (Try telling him that!).

Today, she ate her breakfast with heated canned food dollops. She had two Kongs with an apple slice, two carrots, chicken strips and cream cheese. She licked the cream cheese off the carb-free biscuits and daintily set them on her dogbed for her brothers to consume later. She just now polished off another bowl of food mixed with green beans. Later this evening, I'm going to give her a chew treat (high-protein).

Oh, and apparently right now she's "cleaning up" the leftover canned cat food. Such a helpful little miss is she.

ps: while I typed that sentence, she came up on the couch to curl up next to me and tuck her head onto my knee. at this moment, it is worth every penny and every sacrifice and every challenge to keep her healthy and safe. totally worth it.

Oue Beginnings ...

My friend John was a veterinarian. In 1998, he was working at an emergency clinic and called to tell me that a stray dog had been hit by a car and needed a foster home in which to recuperate - she had to be crated for six weeks while her hip healed.

I was living with my parent's while pursuing a graduate degree at Pitt. My dog Jack had moved in with me and shared residence with my parent's Ashley and three cats. Did we really need another dog? Even for six weeks? Sure! I had Jack's crate and a decent sized basement living space. So home she came. Once she was settled into the crate, she began her very low keening sound, rather like a motor gaining momentum ...rrrrr, rrrrrrr, rrrrrrrr. My father suggested naming her "Mona" in honor of the never ceasing moaning sounds that John insisted were not from pain.

Fast forward ten years and I can assure you the moaning/keening sounds are part of her makeup.

Mona had to remain in her crate around the clock. She could walk slowly outside to do her business and was to be carried up and down the steps -- she weighed about 40 pounds. She hated the crate, so I would let her lie on my bed when I was home studying or reading.

I knew she was going to stay the day I came home from school and found her laying on the sofa with my Dad while he watched the Cooking Channel. They were sharing Ritz Crackers. The family dogs were in the backyard with nary a Ritz Cracker in site.

Thus was born Miss Mona.

The First

On May 17, 2007, my dog Mona was diagnosed with canine lymphoma. Her age is approximately 11. She immediately began a round of chemotherapy which she tolerated well and went into remission almost the first week. We also changed her to a very low carbohydrate diet.

Six months later, she is out of remission. So began round two of chemotherapy this past Friday. Her lymph nodes shrank within 24 hours. And I've bolstered her diet with more fresh fruits and veggies, as well as some more dairy in her daily snacks

The sad truth is that she will probably not survive 2008. As we revelled last night down on Penn Avenue, I had pangs about trying to capture her last year and give her death some context. I'm not a photographer or a scrapbooker, but I do blog. So here is Mona's blog.