Ana's Big Day

Well, I am plum exhausted. First, we spent the early part of the day doing Ana-prep work ... cleaning up cat litter, scrubbing Mona's old crate and all that jazz. Then we hit the road -- oh my god, does Route 22 go on forever or what -- up to the outskirts of Clymer, PA. I had forgotten to tell Ledcat that Ana's foster mom had this really cool outdoor pen for her macaws so that was a big startling for her as we drove into the lane ... she thought peacocks were about to attack the car.

Ana had her big foster-brother with her during out meet and greet which seemed to go really well. She slept for a bit on both of our laps and allowed us to pet her as much as liked. We stayed for quite awhile and then headed home. I felt sad for foster mom, but she was very cool about it and very low key and I give her a lot of credit for making the transition smooth for Ana. Very cool. Plus, macaws.

So off we drive into the sunset. I'm in the backseat with Ana who, surprisingly, doesn't fit into the $40 carrier we bought at Target (20 lbs my ass). She shivered for awhile, but had just nestled down when ... bam ... we hit a deer. Ledcat swore, I screamed and Ana got scared again. Thankfully, no damage to car or passengers. Not so good an outcome for the deer. Ledcat was very shaken because she saw the poor thing's face right before the smash. We pulled over to catch our breath. The first person who stopped to see if were okay turned out to be the game warden's sister so she assured us she would have him come down to remove the deer from the road. The next guy who stopped (we had a lot City angst to work through) actually pulled the deer out of the road and then checked on us and our car.

People are really nice in Indiana County.

The drive home was a little tense. Ana was fine, even when we stopped for gas. We bought candy bars to make ourselves feel a little better. We were a bit worried b/c our friend Julie who runs a beagle rescue had offered to come over and help us with introductions. As the wind blew and the skies darkened, we worried.

Not to fear, Julie showed up at 9:00 and stayed until 11:00 to help us out. Ana trotted confidentally into the yard and the kitchen. The cats were very intrigued. She made Natasha and Boris look like giants. Simon was like "eh, another dog, whatever." No problems at all.

We took Deus out into the yard and brought her out, both leashed of course. Deus took one look at a play companion and was all about inviting her to play. Forgetting, of course, that he weighs 110 lbs more than she does. He bowed and stretched and did everything possible to engage her, including barking his play bark which echos really loudly in the rowhouses. At 10 PM. He got a few sniffs, she yelped at him and overall, it went pretty well. She was not afraid or cowering or anything. We all suspect that a few more rounds of introductions will take car eof that relationship.

Then came Xander. He was afraid, but curious. He sniffed her butt a few times and she ignored him. He barked, but didn't growl or anything. He's going to take more getting used to for her. He was very attentive to my responses to his behavior. We are working in tandem so he doesn't perceive me as Ana's person.

Ana really likes Ledcat. She is fine with me, but she does not like when Ledcat leaves the room.

Oh my god is she cute. Deus and Xander have investigated her toys. Okay, they chewed on them. But we have a lot of toys. And plenty of Kongs to keep her busy.

The challenge for the next few days will be keeping them separated until we can devote some time to togetherness. Deus is incredibly strong so Julie showed me some shelter tips to maintain better control. The good weather should help. The poor door knob on the second bedroom does not help. Thank god she's crate trained.

All in all, it went well for a first day. No biting or growling on the part of the boys. Minimal growling on the part of the little one. She's not afraid of them, but she's not interested in having her ass sniffed either. Would you?

She does like Xander's former wing chair that was banished to the second bedroom which is her new space. It might be a bonding resource.

I thought about Mona a lot to day. Ana isn't really like her in terms of personality. She is a bit more withdrawn and certainly quieter (who isn't ?). However, Ana doesn't really obey so much as deign to comply. That is definitely a treat she has in common with Mona, god rest her soul.

I wonder if Debby thinks we have what it takes to get her to obey. The cute factor is very hard to resist. Very hard.

I think we are going to fail. However, our challenge is to socialize Ana and take her to obedience classes. So that's what we are going to do. Probably Ledcat will take her.

I was thinking it would be cute to get a panier for Xander to carry Ana around the block. Instead of a dog stroller. What do you think?

Today is the day

Sigh. We are getting ready to leave. I came up to make sure the Parkway East is open (yep). The crate is assembled. The dog treats are ready. The dog carrier has been aired out. All that is left for her to like us, Xander to like her, her to like Xander and Deus to just be Deus.

Whew!

I had the boys outside for some playtime in the yard. I can't help feeling a little sad ... as if Ana's entrance into our lives really and for true means Mona is never coming back.

Well, I gotta make up kongs and stop at the ATM, so enough blogging for now. Keep your fingers and paws crossed.

A Tough Month

The past month has been really hard on me. I've been very depressed about Mona's death. Like stay in bed depressed. Don't do anything after work but watch television depressed.

And try to find another dog depressed. I knew in my heart I should wait for the right dog to come to us (which may work if things go well on Monday). But I kept searching the shelter websites and Petfinder.com

Let me tell you ... trying to adopt a young female between 25 and 40 lbs into a multi-pet home is like a competitive sport. We found a dog Friday night on the Animal Friends website and she was adopted by the time I called Saturday morning. We found a dog at the Western PA Humane Society, but she was quarantined due to diarrhea. I thought that meant we had a few days. But apparently, it meant they would adopt her to a no-dog home, but not a multi pet home. So we were outmaneuvered on her, too.

I say that out of frustration, because I am very glad those dogs all found homes (there were more). But each time it didn't work out, I would get more depressed.

Finally, I posted about my frustration on a local dog email list sponsored by http://www.pghdogs.com/.

That's when Ana came to our email box. Her rescuer, Crystal, took a chance that we'd go smaller than 25 lbs and sent us her story. Ana was in a home that couldn't meet her needs. She had apparently been kicked and ended up with a broken pelvis that had to heal while she was crated for a month. That's remarkably similar to Mona's story.

So we'll see what happens. The sticking point is how Xander reacts to her. We have a doggie person coming over to help us with introductions. I admit that I have a rosy image that they'll get along fine once she adapts to the new environment. I want to be able to take a picture similar to this one of her in her foster home.

So keep your fingers crossed for us. Especially for Xander.

Life Goes On ...

Sigh. Went to see Dolly Parton the other night and she sang this really really sad song about a poor little neglected girl and her little doggie. The last few lines were about God taking them both together so the little girl wouldn't be lonely in heaven. I just cried buckets over that song. I barely caught the rest of the show. I kept thinking that Mona might be lonely in heaven and that's not a happy thought place to go.

There is still no sense of back to normal. I think I'm deliberately resisting it. Our grocery shopping is off, our cleaning, everything.

I've stopped thinking about putting puppy pads down now when we go to leave the house, but I still look for her when I come back home. There's the big moment of gulping.

The boys are doing okay. Still very clingy and out of sorts a bit. They don't play in the back yard.

Ashes, Ashes, We All fall Down

Mona's ashes have been ready since last Friday. I don't want to go and get them. Ledcat is forcing me to go on Friday. She's afraid they'll somehow get thrown out. I'm afraid to cry some more.

Me 'n the boys had some fun time outside tonight. I was able to park behind the house and came in the back gate. They were outside with Ledcat "helping" to cook dinner on the grill. Xander likes to play a run back and forth game. Deus prefers to watch. Then I had them so interested in a tennis ball, that I forgot I was wearing work clothes and wiped my muddy, drool covered hands on my nice pants. Ah, well. It was fun. They both ate rather quickly. Xander is under my desk right now and Deus is laying on his dog bed. He's afraid of the new steps to the attic.

I'm so glad they have each other. I can't imagine having one dog left behind, especially as there was no good-bye.

Mona is everywhere in my life. She's my computer wallpaper at work and home. She's my icon on gmail and Facebook. She's everything.

I just want to fill this hole in my heart. With anything. Just something.

Sweeping Mona Away

I miss Mona. I told the whole story to my therapist today and didn't cry. Almost, but not quite. She kept asking me questions until I put an end to the conversation.

Things haven't changed a bit around here. Amadeus and Alexander are still behaving the same. They lay together most of the time and Xander still tears through the house looking for her.

I have to get my car detailed. I may have to help transport some of the children at work and I need to make the car a bit more .. well, clean. That means all of Mona's traces will be removed. It feels like I'm erasing her. Irrational, perhaps.

Plus, her ashes are in at the vet's office. I don't want to get them. I'm just too sad to cry.

Continuing

I worked really hard today .. I almost forgot lunch so-hard ... trying not to think that tomorrow is a one week anniversary. I guess I just blew that, huh?

Coming home is so lonely even though we have a host of other pets. I open the door, pick up the mail, check the voice mail and just go through those motions. A big part is missing. But what continues to kill me the most is Xander racing through the house looking for her. I just can't make him understand. His behavior has changed ... he sleeps up against his brother when we watch television, even though the spot underneath my feet is fully available. He's very clingy to Deus.

Another hard part is flashing back to the final moments. She struggled and it hurts me that maybe she wanted to live and I made that choice for her. Then leaving her body behind ... oh my god, that was horrid. I would have stayed all night if Ledcat allowed me.

I hope I did the right thing.